Life is beyond the hopes and dreams we gather through the years, disappointment beckons the world of pain to visit and sometimes haunt our very presence. The motivation to grab hold of something better easily dissipates into the mundane day to day life, where defeat becomes a friend we are just use to being comfortable with. And while we are trudging along, feeling downhearted and tired there are life lessons we all gain and share in different ways. Maybe it is the strength we see in others that helps us along, or the belief in something greater existing to guide us when we are weak. No matter the hopelessness we strive for hope.
Most people, without being self aware, are enduring continuously through life. They keep going through a painful experience, pushing forward despite bearing the weight of the world. That part of a person is true inner strength, perseverance and capability; qualities you and I have that we can build upon. Recognize and accept that you keep going despite adversity, that you love despite heartbreak and that you have a beating heart, can take a breath and live despite pain. Take a moment to soak that in…
It wasn’t till I became a mother that I grabbed onto the notion that thinking better could make me feel better and create a stronger person for my child to look up to. Now, I am not a certified life coach nor do I have any degrees in Psychology or Social Services. My personal goal in writing is that there are life lessons worth sharing in unique ways. I have managed to grow from depression, anxiety and sickening grief. Pain was no stranger in my life, yet I always kept going, kept living. To recognize that there was still good inside myself and that I had the power to see positive instead of only focusing on the hurt, was a great stepping stone into a better me. Life is hard and complicated, I owe teaching every bit of healthy coping skills and knowledge I have gained to my daughter and family.
We all have endurance, but we can choose to be positive in that endurance. Convert the hardest trial into seeing an end goal, a hopeful look! We can carry a measure of power to do so. Working on the thought process can change an entire outlook in life; the body can heal it self from cuts and bruises, can the mind not do the same with what we choose to think? If I have overcome negative thinking and feeling defeated, others can too!
“A joyful heart is good medicine.” – Proverbs 17:22
This is the inspiration to my writing, what motivates me to delve into the research of Psychology and thinking habits, the abilities we truly have within ourselves. Everything we talk ourselves out of or make ourselves believe plays a big role in healthy living. It can even affect our physical health! My next in depth write will be based on a news article on that very subject. Look for it by the end of the week! It will be through my Creators.co platform, which you can also access via my blog menu.
Life does not make it easy to be a positive person, living is full of raw heartfelt feeling- from the most elated and exciting experiences to the deepest and darkest pain. I use to hold pain as if it was a weight hidden behind my rib cage, always aching and slowly suffocating. I have found a freedom beyond that hurt and it is the very thing I wish to focus on, for we all go through many difficulties in life and deserve to finally grab hold of the fresh air and beautiful light still existent in our lives!
As a busy mom, wife and growing as a step-mother, daily living can become very stressful. School days end with frustrated kids and a toddler finding their way to the terrible two’s is exhausting! Throw in several bad work days for daddy on top of it and the environment feels more tense than we all would like it to be. Being positive is not the first thing to focus on nor is it the easiest to accomplish. With many years of knowing what it feels like to allow things to weigh you down almost to nothing and wanting better than that for my own child and step-kids, I have personally learned to grab hold of mindfulness in times of distress. So much of what builds strength, character and coping skills comes from inside each of us, it has now become the most important thing to work on modeling coping skills and healthy thinking habits for my family!
Some may assume that being positive alludes you from feeling all other emotions that help you to appreciate happiness. But, being realistically positive does not mean you do not or cannot feel sadness, anger, grief or frustration. We all are human and we all will feel the effect of pain no matter how hard we try not to. Taking a step back, meditating or re-evaluating, and focusing on the good can create a positive attitude towards a negative circumstance! Here are five resources to share and what I personally do to build positive thinking within my family:
Looking at something in a more grateful way (appreciating the good and the opportunities that are realistically there) opens the door into taking a look at the bigger picture instead of the one negative thing we are focused on.
I am always trying to remind myself and the family of the things we still have in our lives that are good and meaningful, shifting a disappointment towards being grateful.
“people who feel gratitude are less likely to be depressed and worried, and more likely to feel satisfied with their lives.”
2. Thinking and Thoughts
The greatest thing I have observed, in all the psychology and professional research into my writing, is how our personal thinking projects itself into our own reality. We can make ourselves believe the worst or prove to our self the ability to see past a negative experience. It truly makes a difference for me to redirect personal thoughts and focus on bettering my mood for the family. I try my very best to give an alternate perspective when someone in the family is stuck on very negative feelings and thoughts, in time hoping to motivate everyone’s ability to focus more positively and clearly while making their environment feel less tense and stressful by doing so.
Lasting change comes from what we choose to think, say and do from day to day. We can use these abilities to break each other down or build each other up. Nothing unnerves me more than to hear anyone in the family speak negatively about someone else (friend or family) or use unkind language causally without thinking. We all bear enough unkindness out in the world and carry our own flaws and mistakes, so I am continually encouraging more kindness towards one another in the home and towards others.
“not to shine such a spotlight on a difficult situation that everything good fades out.”
4. Spiritual or Mindful Routine
This is what pulls everything together to build a more positive mindset. We are a christian family, incorporating bible reading and meditating into our daily lives truly brings better thoughts, words and actions into the home. Having my own personal study time also refreshes my mindset and encourages more effort on my part to be the best example I can be for my family. For those less into the spiritual aspect, mindfulness can be a great alternative to incorporate more balance in daily life.
I am a sucker for taking things seriously at times and getting overly anxious in some situations. But one thing I have managed to recognize is to take it easy from day to day knowing each day has its own anxiety. When the toddler won’t nap or the house is still a mess because of it, I have to take it as it is and not fret. I encourage the same for everyone else in the family. Seeing how stressed they are at times, helps me to keep working on my stress levels in order for everyone to not take things so seriously sometimes.
Those are just a few of the weekly and daily habits I am working on and trying to encourage. Taking a bad stressful day and learning to turn it around I feel is such a great asset for anyone looking to improve themselves and their family. It isn’t easy, far from simple and can feel overwhelming to turn a negative mindset around, the key has been perseverance! Build up those around you by picking out the advantage to a disadvantage, speak up-building things to feel less hurt by that rude person, notice your strengths in a difficult situation, shrug off the insignificant little things to feel less worried, be grateful for what you still have in your life despite a loss. All those thought adjustments can make a huge difference in daily life! If I can experience a difference in myself and my environment from how I choose to think and look at things, I will always continue sharing that knowledge. I hope everyone finds the little pieces of happiness and life’s goodness in their own life! What adjustments can you make to better your personal life? As a fellow blogger simply stated:
“you have to take control and make life into what you want it to be.”
Once you recognize the super power within a single thought, there is a beautiful transformation hidden behind it! For me, learning the mindset to believe in myself has been a wondrous step towards strength and endurance, even if life won’t let up on its challenges.
I have discovered that we can rise to a thinking level beyond a world of negativity that permeates its weight of low self esteem and bitterness. Find ways to feel good and build others up, be an example worth setting! How does it really make a difference? You may ask. Is our way of thinking really anything like that vigilante on your favorite TV show striving for the good?