Perspective 

There are always two sides to a story they say… well the same goes for our own perception, there is always two sides to our sense of reality and life. There can be a negative one or a positive grateful one depending on our thinking. Learning to focus on even the smallest sense of gratitude, like having just enough money for food for the week despite having nothing left after bills. We can wallow in feeling too poor and never ever making it or we can be grateful for having a roof over our head and food to eat despite how little our means. If we become positive in such a circumstance, we better motivate ourselves in finding and working towards something better by building on what we already have. This goes for most any other situation or set of feelings. Our choice of thoughts either helps us to or dooms us from- Happiness.

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Some may assume that being positive alludes you from feeling all other emotions that in turn make you appreciate happiness. But I personally feel that being positive does not mean you do not or cannot feel sadness, anger, grief or frustration. We all are human and we all will feel the effects of pain no matter how hard we try not to. Focusing on the good and creating a positive attitude towards any negative circumstance doesn’t mean we become numb, it only means we find a way out of our darkest moments. Nor does it mean that we fail to accept or come to terms with that pain.

Looking at something in a more hopeful way can be the very thing that leads us to truly understanding our own emotions and gaining strength to fight through the pain and negative feelings. How do you accomplish feeling better and healthy without seeking help to find the hope you have always been looking for? We take medications, we see therapists and we seek attention all because of what? We want to feel better! We want to feel that happiness and positivity despite our own inner struggles to stay inside our comfort zone of melancholy. We ourselves stop the process of looking for good and accept everything less, because we are “use to” the negativity that surrounds us or that may even be a part of who we are.

Just because we are use to a certain darkness, never means we are completely helpless and have no choice but to go through it. Yes, we may not have any control over the sadness and pain we feel, we may be genetically inclined to depression and we may suffer with the medical condition of it. But there are many stories out there of people who have overcome that imperfection within themselves. For those cases medication or therapy, maybe even both, are recommended and required. But how does someone in time get themselves into a better place with that added help? Positive Thinking! You may need the help to accept and understand how your thinking can control the emotions you feel, in continuous therapy sessions and/or the use of antidepressants. But what even a therapist will advise you (as I personally have seen a couple in my life time) is to give yourself kind thoughts, allow yourself to feel what you have to feel without judgement. When you start working on your own thoughts regarding your own self and your own weaknesses, it becomes that one powerful tool in helping reteach yourself how to deal with certain circumstances.

There is never a moment to not recognize something positive within yourself or even around you to help! It will take time, it will take effort and it will seem impossible at times. But there is and always will be two sides to the reality you live in! The one where we just accept that life is crap and we will feel hurt most of the time and the one where we know life isn’t easy, that pain will find us no matter where we go or what we do, but we delve into self love and hope and find we can endure a trial without feeling like we are sinking with every step.

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I think it is especially important to encourage positive thinking and perspective to our sons and daughters or any young ones in our lives. Soo many go through very tough life situations and personal challenges as children and teens, and it’s our responsibility as parents to give them the best opportunity in learning from a young age how to cope and overcome negativity in a healthy way! I didn’t learn self love and the adjustment of my thinking till I was an adult, and how much I feel it would of made a difference in my life to have received it when I was younger. Why wait till after the fact to have someone learn to recognize a different perspective? Because they may not accept a different perspective if they were never shown how to or given the opportunity to at a younger age.

There can be and are adults who fail to truly accept themselves, that they only teach negativity to their young ones. How to judge other people and talk behind their back, how to obsess over others flaws or mistakes and how to blame others instead of take responsibility for their own actions and behavior. That has nothing to do with other people or outside situations, it has everything to do with the person inside! And when an adult is like that and their children are going through tough times, the children only learn to feel like they have to live in the drama because they were raised around it, they must have something wrong with them if they feel a certain way or that the world is always out to get them. And when mental thinking in a parent is not healthy, the same exact thinking gets taught to the child. Like always worrying and thinking something is terribly wrong all time, can lead to a child fearing things unnecessarily. There are so many forms of neglect to the kind of thinking we can teach our children.

With so many misconceptions of finding ways to feel better, the most horrifying is hearing my step-daughter talk about all the girls in her school who cut and self harm. And the worst part is that they think it’s normal and okay for teens to go through that. What a failure in not self educating our children! It is so imparative to recognize the power of teaching positive thinking and healthy habits in coping.

You cannot change the outcome for others without reshaping yourself first! We owe it to our children and families to be able to find that positive perspective, the other side to our reality, so we can encourage hope instead of negative views.  Why dwell on all the negative around us or in others to only teach our children to pick up and pick out the negative themselves.

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I have choosen to focus on positivity and healthy coping skils to be the best example for my daughter. What are your personal thoughts on this topic? Is our way of thinking important? And can it be a movement to help our teens in a very negative world?

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