Forgiveness: a word filled with a lot of strength and an ability that most have to work very hard at. You can say you forgive, but the act of it is far more challenging. To physically show it and delve past the hurt inside yourself is not an easy quality to attain. Only recently have I peronally discovered the ability to show forgiveness.
When there is hurt, there is much pain- which is the obstical we all face in reaching a sense of peace. Forgiveness means we have to let that pain go and see someone in a different light. That lulling heavy weight of hurt is the very thing threatening any endeavor in showing a change of heart towards another. But, there is a way to get past that place of holding a grudge…
1.) Time and Space
Just like taking a step back and counting to 10, I have found giving space from the person and situation helps gain your footing back. It relieves you of tension that usually never helps. Helps you get your confidence back in being yourself and doing your own thing.
Talking to someone or writing out feelings to therapeutically get rid of negative feelings is always a good and healthy thing to do. For me personally, even prayer and thoughtful consideration of biblical principles gave me a clearer head and a fresh perspective.
3.) Believe in Yourself
It is important not to put ourselves down over others behavior and actions. To truly believe the good we have done and still do. To gain the confidence needed to look that person in the eye and smile knowing our own integrity.
4.) Stay Positive and Be Kind
Despite that strong urge to tell someone off, it proves a higher sense of nobility to not rehash drama, but keep calm and positive! Smile and say hi, keep yourself and your talk positive when around the person.
5.) Fully Forgive
After some time and giving each step a try or several tries over, you will gain a sense of feeling more freed in simply just forgiving. It becomes easier to recognize they are human and to be more open in your kindness then rigidly holding back. Being self-confident and positive has helped me tremendously in feeling calm and less stressed around those who have hurt me. Your relationship may not necessarily be the same again, but you will have gained a peace of mind and the ability to move on and live life, live life under your own terms and not by the hurt or the feelings of others!
Keeping peace with kindness and positivity has truly helped me to manage showing forgiveness. It really starts within yourself… And has nothing to do with the other person. I or you may never get an apology, but we can react in leaving it behind and still acting ourselves with kindness. Knowing full well that despite the wrongs we have endured, we ourselves have done everything right and have no reason to be hostile. It keeps others from trying to cause us more harm, maybe in time it even could inspire responsibility we thought they would never take.
Have self confidence and remember your own integrity! One thing I have noticed for myself, is the space I keep from certain people is a way to not allow past frustrations to build up on top of new ones. I can live up to truly forgiving by not building up any more tension that would only bring up the past. Healthy boundaries truly help that. Being yourself, calm and kind despite hurt can bring a confidence for the future and helps you grow from the past.
What are your thoughts on Forgiveness? Any tips of your own to add or share?