Ever have those days, despite being positive and working on motivation, that your emotions creep up and get the best of you? Something happens, and you fall into a momentary lapse of helplessness. Feelings of failure even though realistically you have accomplished more than you give yourself credit for; frustration from the parts of yourself still searching for peace, and even anger or sadness when you feel you’re alone, but you know you’re not really alone. You mindfully keep yourself aware, or at least try to, of what really is going on compared to the worst scenario replaying over and over in your head.
For me… I carry the weight of caring for kids as if they were my own while gaining resistance to that care. There has been major criticism made in the recent past. Everyday I give more effort to grim and bear it, so as to recognize someone else’s pain underneath it all. Acceptant of being the step-mom who walked in changing everything and acceptant of others insecurities regarding our step-family.
So, I take a deep breath, say a prayer, and keep on encouraging despite the fight against it. I continue to find ways to motivate and inculcate positive thinking. I keep practicing 6 Steps to Positivity within a Blended Family And even though some days it feels like it won’t ever be enough, some little special moment between my step-daughters and I, reminds me to never give up!
I’m gaining a life becoming free from the validation of others, slowly unfettered from hurtful judgements. It is still hard, but I truly have grown to recognize my worth as a Step-Mom and most importantly as a Mother!
- I am a good Mother and I remind myself that every day when I see how happy and lovable my daughter is. If I were truly an irresponsible mother, my child would obviously show signs of it. She is healthy, growing and reaching all of her milestones. She gets all the love and quality time she needs, not only from me, but her father and sisters as well!
- I am a good Step-Mom, who not only recognizes her own mistakes, but is willing to grow from them (Something most people cannot do). Who consistently works on being better and showing care despite the negativity. Putting children who are not of her own blood ahead of herself and taking into consideration their own struggles.
- I am a good Wife, who respects her husband enough to fight for what he deserves as a father and head of his household. Someone who loves him for all his quirks and who is proud of all he does for his family. I will stick by him and love his children through thick and thin.
This is what I emphasize to myself when the hard moments and heavy emotions hit, bringing my mind into perspective. Because no matter the criticism towards my family life, I presently have accomplished good and keep working on better! There will always be moments of difficulty and struggles, but it is remembering that I’m living for my spiritual, personal well being and step-family life, not for those outside of it.
What are some of your personal/family challenges? And how have you found ways to overcome struggles and find the positive?
*For other Step-Parents dealing with similar struggles and conflicts: I did attend professional counseling to help navigate myself better through the unique challenges of our blended family. I encourage it to others to recognize you are strong enough and good enough!